Don't get in my Way #loveproject365

"Love is patient, love is kind." 1 Corinthians 13:4

Some people are so good at being patient. Waiting in line, they spark up a conversation. When they are stuck in traffic, they turn up the radio and sing along. When they kids are taking too long to get ready, they embrace the time they have with them that morning. In every situation, they focus on others. For me, I am not very good at being patient and often am quite selfish. Like most of us, I want things now and want everything done yesterday. I have a schedule to keep and appointments to get to, but the funny thing is, even if I had all the time in the world, I would still rush people. 

But love is patient, love is kind. It puts others first and us second. It requires us to endure relationships and situations with patience. Sometimes relationships are hard and loving those who offend us or hurt us is even harder. For me, I just quit. Not because I don't like conflict but because I am afraid. During our times of hardship, love does not give up, but instead endures through patience and kindness. It allows the struggle and produces a deeper love. Like patience, kindness is sensitive to others in all situations. When I think about the times I quit because someone hurt me, I realize I made the situation about me. Loving others requires us to focus on others in a way that is forgiving and kind. 

Do what you Love #loveproject365

Just one of the reasons I love this guy...

This past year I started writing for Venture the Wild and finally got the opportunity to attend CES in Las Vegas. For those who are not as nerdy as I, that is the Consumer Electronics Show. Not only do I get to attend this year, I will be writing a few articles and researching better ways to engage my students in my teaching. 

What I love about all of this is my amazing husband who has paved the way for such an adventure. Starting VenturetheWild.com a few years ago, he has taught himself everything from designing a website, branding ideas to writing all the content for a successful website. Anyone in any one of these areas knows that that is a lot of work for one guy, one guy who retired from a martial arts business which he loved to kick start a new career from scratch. His tenacity and passion for everything he loves amazes me every day and I am thankful for his commitment to be his best no matter what obstacles pop up. And believe me, he has had more than his fair share of obstacles. Rob is an inspiration not only to me but to his readers and his friends. 

Because of his patience and passion to work hard, we get to work side by side doing what we love. 

#loveproject365

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Inspired by a friend who recently finished the #JoyProject365, I have committed this year to loving others and seeing the best in the world around me. With the election of 2016, so many people have lost focus of what's really important and instead chose to belittle and bash others in ways that were unimaginable before. Politics and religion have always brought some tension in the world, but most civil people could look past belief systems and still be friends and discuss ideas that mattered to them without a complete disowning of a friend. So, this year, I am choosing love and for 365 days, I will post about the things and people I love and those I am working on loving. 

So, here we go...

2/365 #loveproject365

You can't start love without Jesus as He is the best example of love we have and the model of how we should love one another. Without Jesus, I would not know love as I do today. Jesus came to earth to show us how to love one another. He acted out each day loving others and in the end sacrificed his life for us. For all of us, even those who betrayed Him, beat him and spit on Him. 

I pray this year to be more like Jesus and to love others unconditionally. 

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

John 15:12

Through it all...choose love! #loveproject365

The past few years have had extreme highs and extreme lows for me but hanging on to Jesus has helped me through it all. From diving in with both feet to serve God to being so angry at Him, to teacher of the year to falling on my face with new ideas, to loving those who don't love back, life has truly slapped me in the face a few times this year and last. Fighting back I continued to get up every day, go to work, face my family and simply trudge on hoping for the best. Last year, I vowed to love more and not let others bring me down, and I think it caused a spiritual battle I struggled to beat all year long. Some days were up, while others were so low, I sat in my office and cried until someone walked in to ask me a question or I got called out for a meeting. I put on a good face for the most part but those who know me, knew I was faking it. Growing in your faith can be a long hard road at times, but never let go of God and know He is the only one who can redeem you.

While others will let you down, day after day, God is consistent and constant, loving us where we are and for who he created us to be. Who I was this year, was NOT who He created me to be. He calls us to love and serve others and put all of our trust in Him. A few years ago, it came to me that if we all simply believed God with everything we had, there was nothing to fear in this world. I am still not so sure of what I am so afraid of, but my walls are thick and only God knows how to break them down.

This year, I am setting out again with the same goal to love others and myself so that I can serve God with everything I have. The last few months, Romans 8:28 has come up in my studies and sermons and in sharing with friends more times than any other verse, so this year, I will trust that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." No matter what happens, let this year be the year you trust it, too.

Now, with every goal, you need a plan and every plan needs some accountability. In order to stay focused on the right things, a few things need to happen every day. Focusing on God, focusing on others and paying attention to the small things that God intends for good.

Let's be people who love Jesus so much we have to share Him through that love.

Happy New Year! 

It's time for a revival!

I wish I could say I have it all figured out and the world is one big rosy place to abide. With all the political craziness, I have come to realize (again) that God truly is the only one that can save this place. It isn't that I didn't know this already but I had begun to depend on people and things only to have it crash again. You would think we would learn that the only one we can truly trust is God.

God does want us to trust in people in order to love and be free of the world's grip, but we have to remember that even that trust will be broken. God gives us his word to fall on when the world starts to slip away and people act bratty. Right now, I am so sick to my stomach over the police shootings around the country for the last year. I realize police shootings have been happening for a while now but right now, it hurts. People blame politics, they blame the media, they blame each other, but the reality is we are so broken as a people and until we turn to the one who created us, we will only continue to see things get worse.

My Christian friends, I am worried about you. I am worried you don't see this for what it is. I am worried that you, too, are blaming media and politics. I am worried you aren't turning to God right now and praying for this nation. Now, I know most of you pray for your kids, for your family, for your schools and those things around you but the prayer we need right now is that we are open to sharing the Gospel with everyone we meet. It isn't about changing a policy or changing a person's political beliefs, it is about changing our hearts to accept the one who created us. Get out and share the Gospel like you never have and that is when you will see a change in the world.

for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7

It's just not fair...

Sometimes I wonder why God has chosen me to be where I am, doing what I am doing. Life has taken me on a long road of trials, longer than I wanted or ever dreamed of, but I do know God has been by my side since I was a little girl. I have never doubted He was there and I never doubted He didn't have a plan for me. I just didn't like it and didn't want to submit to Him. The fear of the unknown had me trapped. Had me stuck in a rut I was too stubborn to let go of. Too stubborn to forgive, to forget, and to move on. Never in my life had it been so difficult.

Today, as I drove home I was angry at who I had become in the faith I had in Jesus. I let it go and stayed angry and unforgiving. I stayed bitter and I hung on to things only I was hurting from. Dumb! As I drove home, all I could think about was how I didn't stand up for my faith and I didn't trust in my Jesus. Instead, I trusted in the lies the world has told me.

Revenge is sweet.
Do unto others as they do unto you.
Rebellion feels good.

Now, don't get me wrong, I never acted on any of these thoughts but I sure wanted to...more times than once. I even sat across from a woman who told her story of running from God and in that moment, I thought about how brave she was to abandon God in those years and secretly wished I had the courage. Crazy, huh!?

Of course, my fear of God kept me from running. I just stayed angry like a little brat stomping her feet, crying out, "this isn't fair!"

And then I realized, what is fair?
Was it fair that Jesus died on the cross for MY sins?
Was it fair that Judas turned his back on Jesus?
Or Peter denied him more than once?

Life is not fair and we do not deserve the grace we have been given, but God does love us and wants something better for each of us. When we fully surrender, the world around us gets smaller and much less significant. Turning to Him takes the focus off of ourselves and onto Him. Our lives change and we begin to truly live in His presence and not what the world has thrown at us. When we think and live like Jesus we start to realize that those that hurt us are hurting more than we can imagine.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. -Matthew 5:43-45

Those Thoughts are not from God

My faith in God is strong and I have always had an innate sense to do right. It may be some of my Catholic influence as a young child or my grandmother always expecting the best of me, but long before I was a Christian, I knew right from wrong and always tried to do right. I value integrity and honesty and try to be true to that in my own life. I expect in others. In relationships, I work on being fair and couldn't pull off a poker face if I tried. I try to see the best in others and I work on not making assumptions or jumping to conclusions, but boy I missed a good poker face and was completely fooled.

The result of my lack of discernment shook my faith and caused so much anger. For months, I couldn't go out for a run without being attacked by my own thoughts. Recently, I heard that our mind races at an insane speed and I believe it. Have you been there? You are consumed by thoughts that take you spiraling in a whirlwind going so fast you can't stop yourself and at some point don't you might not want to. You think things that you would never say out loud and you imagine the what if's. You play back conversations, car rides, lunches and moments when you felt like they really understood and had your best interest at heart. Purging a few weeks ago, I came across a picture, and then another, and then a gift-all leading me back to the situation. I was so deceived there are moments I can't believe she actually fooled me. There are times when I have almost convinced myself that it's impossible. No one could be so cruel and deceitful with their words, their time and their perceived friendship. And it happened, my heart was broken and I was angry, sad, and in disbelief.

While God is working on my broken heart, the demons are attacking me almost daily. So many thoughts have flooded my mind that are not from God and I have been trying to fight them off. In our humanness we allow another human being with a free will to bring us down with them. We lose our sense of goodness every time we entertain a thought not from a God who loves us and values us. While I know logically and scripturally that I am His, I still am fighting demons. They know my weakness and will do everything they can to gain my attention. My battle with pride and anger is exhausting at times, but in the end, it is my pride that keeps me from fully surrendering and moving on. A pride I never knew I had until these moments. 

A pride that keeps us from loving. 

A pride that hinders our relationship with God and others. 

A pride that sinks deep in our soul and makes us sick to our stomach. 

A pride that can be addicting. 

The pain caused by another human being can cut deep, but losing Jesus is so much more painful. My wounds are deep and my heart has been broken, but I know with time God will heal this heart and this will just be a memory in the past.

"Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up."

James 4:10