Today, as I drove home I was angry at who I had become in the faith I had in Jesus. I let it go and stayed angry and unforgiving. I stayed bitter and I hung on to things only I was hurting from. Dumb! As I drove home, all I could think about was how I didn't stand up for my faith and I didn't trust in my Jesus. Instead, I trusted in the lies the world has told me.
Revenge is sweet.
Do unto others as they do unto you.
Rebellion feels good.
Now, don't get me wrong, I never acted on any of these thoughts but I sure wanted to...more times than once. I even sat across from a woman who told her story of running from God and in that moment, I thought about how brave she was to abandon God in those years and secretly wished I had the courage. Crazy, huh!?
Of course, my fear of God kept me from running. I just stayed angry like a little brat stomping her feet, crying out, "this isn't fair!"
And then I realized, what is fair?
Was it fair that Jesus died on the cross for MY sins?
Was it fair that Judas turned his back on Jesus?
Or Peter denied him more than once?
Life is not fair and we do not deserve the grace we have been given, but God does love us and wants something better for each of us. When we fully surrender, the world around us gets smaller and much less significant. Turning to Him takes the focus off of ourselves and onto Him. Our lives change and we begin to truly live in His presence and not what the world has thrown at us. When we think and live like Jesus we start to realize that those that hurt us are hurting more than we can imagine.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. -Matthew 5:43-45
