Hope in God, Nothing Else is Good Enough

Hope is when we anticipate something will get better. Hope is what drives us to keep going when times are tough, when it seems like our challenges are bigger than us, when we know we cannot do anything else in the moment of struggle. 

Hope is what makes me get up each day, knowing that whatever is ahead of me, God is going to make it better. When life feels overwhelming or when I don't want to be doing what I'm doing, I know there is a plan for me. I know God has me right where he wants me, even if I don't get it. And lately, I don't get it. I'm not sure why things happen the way they do and my controlling spirit wants to take the situation and fix it, change it or sometimes hide in a hole until it goes away. But when my head is clear and I look around me, I know I've got it good. I know that every opportunity I have has been given to me by God for a reason. I would never be where I am today without the hope in something greater than myself. Myself cracks on its own, myself breaks down at the simplest things, myself loses it's mind occasionally. 

Hope can take us from the deepest pit of our lives and move us to great things. It can change our attitude and our energy and our love towards others. It can bring us purpose and belief in things we never believed in before. 

It's when we lose hope, we fall. And if we let our minds get the best of us, it's hard to get out of it. But having faith in God gives each of us a reason to live and hope for better days and still enjoy the moments we are in. 

If God is not your hope, you hope in things and people. And to hope in any thing or any person will only disappoint you or abandon you or hurt you. It is inevitable in our humanness but God will never disappoint, abandon or hurt us in any way. He loves us just as we are and what a comfort that is. I have many flaws and many quirks that drive people crazy, but I know I am who I am because God created me. He alone is where I find my identity. In the same way, he created you just the way you are. We have to remember that our hope has to be in God and then we will live free of what others think, say and do. 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 

For Such a Time as This

Our husbands introduced us after they met at the car wash one Saturday afternoon. We become friends instantly when we realized we both loved to work out and lived close by. She rides a bike, I run. She pushes me to 20 miles, I push her to 5. She has girls, I have Jake. She has him and I have Rob. Our lives merged with conversations about kids, husbands, finances, jobs, weight loss and working out. It's only been about a year, but the one thing I love about our friendship is the love we both feel deeply for our kids and husband. Having a friend who deeply loves and cares for her kids and respects her husband in the same way has been such a blessing in my life the past year.

"My heart is breaking," she tells me repeatedly as I sit with her in the hospital room while her husband lay a few feet away from us with tubes, and needles and a whole lot of stuff poking into his body I don't understand. I don't even try, but it is obvious this is not going to be a quick recovery. She is tired, sad and although, I have met a new friend each time I am there, she is lonely.

"My whole life is laying in that bed," she manages to get out holding back tears and wiping her face. I can't respond, nothing I can say will take away the pain and the fear she has at this moment. Her friends keep telling her "you're strong, you're a fighter, he's a fighter, stay positive," but really is that enough to make it through the pain. I consider myself a strong woman who has put up with and dealt with a lot of nonsense in my life but this has nothing to do with being strong. I don't tell her to be strong, I tell her sleep and eat because she needs to be well. I tell her talk to him and let him know she is there but she does all that. She rubs his arm and tells him to fight, she tells him she and the girls need him and they do.

She can't do anything else except wait...and wait...and wait until there's a change. I pray, and I pray and ask others to pray but I can't do anything else either. The clif bars, the banana, the crystal light, and today, the flowers I bring to remind them of the beauty of life and chocolate because...it's chocolate (Need I say more, girls?) can't take away the pain. I am not strong and it nearly breaks my heart to see her so sad. When I go to see her, I pack a bag of snacks and water, and I pray that it will be better than the day before. But I hold back the tears as she does too. We sit and she tells me the same story again and again. The updates, the visits, the blood tests, the drains, she can't think of anything else. Living in her "nightmare," as she calls it repeatedly, the outside world just keep going. I come showered, after a workout and a day working and ask about the kids, they haven't come to see him. "They can't see him like this," she says. And again, I connect, thinking about Jacob and how he might handle a situation like this, how I might. And I get it.

Her life has stopped for the moment and nothing else matters. When asked what we can do, "the only thing I want," she cries, "is for him to get better."

This story isn't over yet and we will be celebrating his life when he returns home but we have to remind ourselves of how quickly our lives can change. In an instant, we can be in a situation we never expected and in those times we have to be able to depend on one another for support. I am thankful I am able to be there, and I just pray that I am never to busy to notice and be available when those close to me need me. My concern for others is great but I am not very good at expressing it or knowing what to say or do. Through this and two recent losses in our family, I have realized it doesn't matter what you say or do, you just need to be there.

We only met a year ago, but I believe we were introduced "for such a time as this."

Change is Good

It's happened to us all. Just when we think we got it all under control, bam! something rocks our world. Our lives are constantly changing whether we want it to or not, and sometimes those changes are unexpected. Situations we intentionally change can be exciting while those that surprise us can throw us off our game. It is in the times of the unexpected that we have to remember that we are not in control and that there is a bigger plan for our lives.

Change is good.
    It helps us to see things with new perspectives.
    It causes us to grow personally, spiritually and emotionally.
    It forces us to find our boundaries.
    It defines our values and beliefs, making us stronger.
    It challenges our relationships and attitudes.
    It brings newness to the mundane.
    It holds us accountable to what we believe about the situation we are in.
    It creates new perspectives, new boundaries, new beliefs, new relationships.

Although, change can be uncomfortable and even scary at times, new chapters in our lives make us stronger as people and remind us that nothing is permanent in this world. God has a plan for us all and when situations change, it is another reminder that we are not in charge, no matter how much we try.

Deuteronomy 4:39

Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth below. There is no other.