He's back!

I didn't check the mail for three days! No, I wasn't sick or snowed in and I passed the mailbox at least twice a day every day. Funny thing is, I never even realized it until Rob called me and said the mail was piled up on the front porch.

Who knew I had become so inept at maintaining order on my own? Now, don't get me wrong, I get up every morning, get myself ready and head out for work. I manage to teach writing and rhetoric and literature, grade papers, plan lessons, manage the COW (computer on wheels), answer the phone, answer questions, find things, lose things and then find them again, organize piles, create files, wash dishes and clothes and lunches, iron my clothes for the next day, make the budget and collect receipts to make sure everyone is using it, feed the cat, feed the dog, teach cardio, run a few miles, text my mom, call my dad, check fb and spend some time alone reading and writing...I think you get the point. My time management and organization is not lacking on most days.

BUT one week, Rob leaves town and the house falls apart.

Less than 24 hours since he left...

The dog is pacing all night waiting for him to come back, I can't sleep...because the dog is pacing all night and now scratching on my bed. A few hours later, I wake up and Jake is sick, the dog was sick and my student teacher quits. I go to the store for medicine, go to work, go to the library and go to the dojo, finally to return home feeling guilty I have left my sick child at school all day and then at grandma's most of the night.

The next morning, still sick child, lonely dog, and to add to the fun, the cat is staring me down perched on a pillow at 5 am. I guess she's hungry. You know the feeling of someone staring at you...that's what I felt, alone in the dark, in my room, from the CAT. Bad hair day, and a wardrobe malfunction-someone asked if I was dressed for Spirit Week. Out of gas, out of toilet paper, out of laundry soap and now, the oven isn't working. Need a shower, need a run, need some ice cream!

We all have those days, those weeks and sometimes even months where things just aren't working out the way you expect. It's how we respond that makes all the difference. Though only a few days, I was reminded that no matter what happens each day, life goes on. So what if the sink still has a few dishes in it, or the mail didn't get taken in, or my shirt had a button or two missing. No one noticed, or even cared. In the past, I would worry for days over things that made no difference one way or another, but this time, I seemed to just keep going no matter what got in my way. I know these are not all serious events but when mishaps continue throughout our day one after another, we can let it bog us down and distract us from the more important things in life. We have to stop in the chaos and remember what is important and lasting.

I thought this was going to be a long week, but thankfully, Rob decided to come home early.

Moving Forward in 2014

As the new year is here, many of us have already made a resolution that we believe will ultimately make us better in one way or another. In the past, as many others, I have wanted to lose weight, eat healthy, be nicer to people or give more hugs. 

Today, I don't really think about making resolutions but last week I asked my cardio girls if they made any resolutions and all I got was "to not make resolutions." The funny thing is no one really believes they will achieve their resolution so it becomes something we simply joke about. For those who do make a resolution, most fall off the wagon by the end of January, and if they are really committed they may make it through February, only to find themselves losing focus before March starts. 

About a year ago, I was convinced I had ran my last race after I injured my knee. But then a few weeks passed and I headed out in the neighborhood convincing myself that if I just kept going it would be fine. And it was for the first mile or so, but then it started to hurt. So what did I do? Kept running, of course, listening to my earbuds repeat every five minutes, "you are 2 minutes behind your goal." Each time I heard it, I tried to run faster only to start limping by the time I got home. Now you would think I would have stopped there. Oh no! I did this over and over again, sometimes crying my way through it. Not so much because of the pain but because I was so frustrated that my will was not strong enough to make the pain go away and run the distance I wanted to. My "resolution" was to run like I did before the injury. No short run, slow run, but a full speed ahead approach and I was failing. I thought with a strong mental attitude I could overcome it. No training, no stretching, no plan except to "go for it." I struggled for months until I finally realized I needed to warm up, run a little slower, and go shorter distance. Oftentimes, we jump into a goal without thinking about how will we get there and end up quitting or hurting ourselves because it is simply too hard mentally, physically or spiritually. 

In the last few months my knee started to feel better and my pace was picking up, so I committed to run another half marathon. A little nervous now because there's a challenge and my will wants to go fast again. But what I realized from before is that I cannot will myself to meet big challenges. When I want to challenge myself to change or meet a big goal, I have to do something every day. Run a mile today, maybe two tomorrow. Because each little goal eventually gets me to a faster pace and a stronger heart, I have to continually train. I no longer think about the day of the race as much as what I am doing right now to get me there. We have to focus each day to do something that will lead us to our goals. 

For me, the journey is the best part. Enjoy your life with intentional devotion and purpose, recognizing that the new year can be a fresh start, but you can make changes any time of the year. Set your goals, but remember you may need to warm up, run slow, and go short.