Ragnar hits the Road in Anaheim

I nearly died at seven miles, but we kept going until we hit ten. My sister-in-law is an animal and pushed me to the end. Don't get me wrong, this is not a difficult trail by any means. It is actually pretty flat and not so challenging at all, except for the distance and possibly the heat, if you aren't ready for it.

The team met up a Yorba Regional Park, Anaheim, at 6:30 am. to run the Santa Ana River trail. Against my wishes, they fight me for an earlier time every week. Something about the heat and the humidity. But all I can think of is, it is Saturday for goodness sakes. Needless to say, they win. We all drive a distance to meet up, but this was a little closer so I didn't have to get up too early.

When you arrive, the park is already bustling on a Saturday in July with cyclist, runners, and dog walkers. When we pull in I have a chance to spark up a conversation with a lady getting ready to head out on a ride. This particular morning, she was heading out with her team for 75 miles. Eeeek! Not only was she riding 75 miles, she was making three loops to do it. I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy the hamster wheel. The same scenery, the same ride, three times in a row? I probably would have to stop at 25 or take a different route for more. On the other hand, I think the route is to the beach and back. I may be tempted to just stop at the beach for awhile and return the loop later in the day. Have lunch, enjoy the sun, relax a bit.

Good for me, I wasn't taking that route, but I did see her on my run about an hour or so later. She nearly ran me over with her bike. Of course, you could take the same run to the beach, but we weren't up for a 25-miler that day. It seems each week, the team wavers between 8-10 miles depending on where we are and who has to be where later in the day.

On this particular day, I don't think we ever decided how far we would go, we simply hit the ground running away from the beach on the Santa Ana River trail. The route is pretty easy to follow but you do have some choices along the road. As I am writing this, the city is doing some construction so there are some detours that lead you to the roadside for a few miles. They have put a barrier on the side to keep runners, walkers and cyclist safe from the traffic but the trail itself was quite busy even at 6:30 in the morning. Local high school cross country teams were running, in addition to, moms with strollers, individuals and other groups like ours.

Once you turn up and over a small hill, you veer left off the road where the trail takes you into Canyon RV park nestled in Featherly Wilderness Preserve in the heart of Santa Ana Canyon. The scenery is quite beautiful at this point. It weaves in and through trees and greenery down to the Pacific Ocean in Huntington Beach if you choose to go farther. We turned around at about five miles in to complete a ten miler for the day.

My near death experience wasn't because of the trail but because on a Saturday in July, I decided not to carry water and may have been a bit dehydrated. The sun beat down on us most of the run, until you hit the campground. If you like road runs, some may think this one to be boring but I enjoyed the fresh air in the canyon, and on another day, may have gone a little further to enjoy the scenery. It is an easy flat trail with some shade and cooler breezes but it does take a few miles to get to it when you leave from the park.

It's not God's fault

"What looks like a setback is really God setting you up to get you to the fullness of your destiny."-Joel Olsteen

It is in the dark of the night that thoughts haunt me and the world doesn't seem fair. It is in the wee hours of the morning that I shake my fist at God asking him why. I had surrendered it all to Him and it still went bad. How could this happen? Was I not faithful enough? Did I not love enough? My biggest fears play out right in front of me while all I can do is watch and listen. Days turned into weeks turned into months and years. I didn't want to believe, I didn't want to see what was right in front of me the entire time. And then like a bomb, it crashed. I felt it and I knew it, but never confronted it directly.

Things changed after that. I tried to find answers only to get more angry. My thoughts spiraled out of control and I started to believe Satan's lies, building on the hurt in my heart that moved to a physical disability in my gut. Satan had his grip on me telling me lies, testing my faith. I had been faithful, so much that he attacked and God let him. Why God? Why have you forsaken me? It was a battle of the spirit and I was losing. I was letting him get a hold of me, shaking my faith. The only thing I knew to be true. Surrendered it all! And now what?

What do we do when we feel like our trust in God was all in vain? When the single most important decision you ever made failed you? No scripture, no song, no sermon could get me back. I ignored the songs, I stopped reading and I stopped listening. It seemed to me more lies.

And then I realized that it's man's free will that was shaken, not my faith. Things could have been better and my attitude was not always spot on even though I had surrendered it all. I hadn't loved like Jesus and I had been focused on the wrong goals, so my life got shaken up. And instead of changing my attitude, I continued to be angry. I let things happen instead of speaking up. I convinced myself that giving it to God was enough. But I didn't listen to him and take action. Sometimes we have to do more than pray and sadly, I have learned this the hard way.

It doesn't just look like a "setback," I let it be one. But now as I come to realize that it isn't God but the world around me full of insecurities and selfish ambitions, I can move forward. The world sucks sometimes and no matter how much faith you have, God allows the world to turn as it will. He allows us free will and along with that, everyone makes their own decisions. Believers fall. Believers lack judgement. Insecurities cause people to stumble, to hurt, to let go of what they know is right, even with their faith in God.

But this is not my swan song, I am picking myself up and moving on. Sometimes we have to shake it off and reset to have the fullness of the life God wanted for us. If we continue to wallow in our sadness, we lose. Did you hear that, we lose. I lose. No one else. While others move on, we are are sometimes left to pick up the pieces of the mess they left behind. And although it isn't right, we don't have to be victims to the world's lack of judgement and insecurity. If we continue to hold on to the anger and the pain, we only hurt ourselves and never see our full potential in this life. As Andy Andrews says, "The bad news is that the past was in your hands, but the good news is that the future , my friend, is also in your hands."

I will not hold on to the lies of the world.
I will not allow the world to shake what I know to be true.

Because from this moment, I will live a life of love, peace and joy.

"In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:6

Two girls, a Truck and a Trailer

Two girls, a truck and a trailer headed up the mountain for some training runs. A simple spontaneous suggestion to get a site turned into one of the best overnights on Big Bear Lake. A few days before, a friend of mine said let’s go up the mountain for a training run. We can take the trailer and do some hiking and running. As much as I have been on the mountain, I have only actually camped a few times. Once with my neighbors in San Gorgonio where bears lurked outside of our tent and scavenged through the red vines and hamburger buns left out from dinner, and the other time at Green Valley Lake to try out our new tent.

So, this time I set out to book Green Valley again, no bears for this girl. But when I searched the mountain and saw that Serrano was on the North side of the lake near trails, I booked it.  I always get a little nervous when I book campsites because you never know what you will get. But this was exactly what these two girls needed to get away for a night.

We arrived around noon with the horse trailer in tow. As you can imagine, two girls in a truck backing in a trailer, we had a lot of observers. But Jeanne killed it! First time, no adjusting, just pull in, back it up, set it up. I was impressed. A few minutes later, we were out, unpacked and eating some lunch. Heading out the campground by foot, we trekked over to the Cougar Crest trail, a five-mile hike round trip to the Pacific Coast Trail and back. The afternoon was perfect with the sun shining over the lake and the view from the top reminded me how small I was in this big world. This is God’s country and I am only one piece in the big picture.

As the sun was setting, a quick trip to Starbucks on the South side of the lake had us sitting with some locals for some coffee and tea, chatting about dogs, tents and what is important in life.

The next morning we headed out to the Alpine Pedal Trail for a run. Don’t be fooled by the name, yes, there are some bike riders, but we saw more running and dog walking. From the campground, we hit the trail and headed out to the Stanfield bridge. Only a few miles out, we decided to run towards town and found ourselves on the Wildlife Reserve running across bridges and into trails. As the sun came out, it was pretty warm but the view can’t be beat.

For an overnight trip, this was perfect! From Serrano, we never had to get back in the car to hike the hills or run the lake on road and trail. Starbucks was a treat, but definitely not necessary.

God is good to me. After a pretty sucky year, I am so thankful for the gifts of friendship, nature and love he continually provides me every day. He surprises me every morning and throughout my day with small wonders.

Keep an eye out and you will see his miracles and mercy, too. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 

A view from the trail. There's a bench to take a break if you want to breathe in the big picture. 

Addiction

Addiction is real.

If you have ever loved an addict, you know the pain it causes every day. The saddest part is they have no idea that they pain they feel is only part of the pain that you feel when have to sit back helplessly watching them destroy relationships, jobs and themselves. Their. Entire. Life.

If you know me, you know I draw a hard line on alcohol, tobacco and most forms of drugs, including over the counter stuff. Some people have thought it was my faith in God and others may know a little of my story and make a connection, but the reality is, I believe some of us are prone to addiction.

Myself, included. And I fight it, but
I see it when I work until I can't stay up any longer;
I see it in when I run through an injury to prove myself;
I see it when our family schedule is so packed we are eating out every night;
I see it in almost anything I set out to do.

But I fight it.
I fight to keep balance.

So...I don't drink. I don't smoke. Because I am afraid. The reality is no one sets out to be an addict, but eventually, one thing leads to another and you find yourself depressed and lonely.

Addicts often don't realize they are addicts. But you recognize them when they are always late for the party. Or they call to cancel at the last minute because they don't feel well. They often leave early. They promise to bring something and simply forget. They say things, do things and believe things that are just plain wrong. They feel sorry for themselves. They cry, they laugh, they yell-all in the same hour.

And those who love an addict
cry for them,
yell at them,
say mean things back to them,
cry for them,
worry about them,
make excuses for them,
and feel helpless.

For years I was angry, but eventually came to realize that just like other relationships, when one person is fixated on a problem, the only one hurting is the affected. The addict doesn't care about me, any more than the friend that betrayed me. They are the same. They both move on, while I am left picking up the pieces of my own sadness and guilt. They call is a disease, but seriously, Cancer is a disease, Alzheimers is a disease, Parkinson's is a disease; alcoholism and drug abuse is a choice.

If you are someone who knows an addict, I encourage you to let go of your anger and your fear. The children, the wife or husband, the mother and father of an addict, have to create a boundary for their feelings and responses. Love them, forgive them, pray for them, and know you are not in control and ultimately, it is their choice to make a change.

Romans 12:20

I believe that your life must be blessed through forgiving others. Would you like to choose to forgive for the benefit of others? Maybe your decisions can bring an opportunity of redemption for others.

Week 2: Surf City USA

Week 2 training for Ragnar is on! This week, we headed out to good ol’ 9^th street in Huntington Beach, CA. Not unfamiliar to me, or any of my boot camp girls, running PCH never disappoints. With a paved trail and the sand and ocean on your side, you can’t go wrong with this run and in this case, my team. I absolutely love that we all just show up with no question and it is not until we sync our running apps and turn up the volume on the headphones, does someone pop the question, “How far are we going?” Eyes shift and we all make a joke or two about getting to breakfast, but we are ready to hit the ground running. Six sounds good.

Today, the sun was hidden, as it typically is in the early morning, but it hasn’t stopped So Cal to come out to play. Seven am and you would think it was lunch hour on the trail. People walking, running, biking; kids begging mom to come to the water to play; families trekking across the trail with ice chests and easy ups to save a spot at the fire pit for the family reunion. Just what you would expect at the beach on a Saturday in July! But there was more as we shuffled our feet towards Newport Beach. Volleyball tournaments, surfing contests, lifeguard trainings and a street fair to busy the roads, the sand and even the parking lots.

Stopping to take a few pics, I found myself overwhelmed by everything that was going on. After the first mile or so, I realized we have two types of runners in our group today; the one who watches three feet in front of him to make sure he doesn’t trip or run into someone and the one who can’t stop looking. I’ll call the first one, “the fast and furious” runner, the one who moves swiftly through the crowds, dodging walkers and kids, and listens to the beat of her music while working towards a consistent pace. He is focused on getting to the finish line, getting his heart rate up and beating his own time. While the other, I will call “the distracted and dangerous” runner, the one who slows his pace when something catches his eye, picks up his pace when she realizes her team is at least a half mile ahead, stops for a photo, cheers on the seniors as they run past her, engages in small talk with a man who sits with his backpack and is amazed by the early morning hustle and excitement this day already has started. She sees things, hears things, smells things and takes it all in. When the run is over, she can appreciate the man walking his bull mastiff, or the women who chat with friends while taking a morning walk, or the family setting up for the day. When the run is over, she wants to go back because the ocean calms and running excites.

As a child, I spent many days with friends, sno cones and jack in the box on the south side of the pier.  But one thing I took for granted was that I live this close to a place that brings peace and energy, and promises that I can do anything I want. Whether you are the “fast and furious” or the “distracted and dangerous” runner, you can go 1 mile or 20, and along this trail, you will always have a different experience.

Depending on the race you want to win that day, choose your inner runner. Sometimes we need to go fast, but sometimes we need to slow down and simply enjoy the noise.

Psalm 96:11

Let the heavens rejoice; let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is within it.

Training Runs have Begun!

A few months ago, my sister-in-law posted a booking for a flight to Hawaii to run a Ragnar. Immediately, I signed up. Before this, I NEVER, I mean, never, had a desire to run a Ragnar Relay. But Hawaii?? Seriously, I was in without question, but had to convince her to let me on the team. A few days later, I booked my flight. Then, my son and his friend's flight and no sooner I had recruited two more friends to join the team. Now, if you don't know what a Ragnar is, it's 200 (and in this case more) mile relay with a team of up to 12 members. Our crazy team, thinks 10 members is enough. Something about sweating in vans, but I am not buying it. They just love running! I just love Hawaii and if I have to run, I will. It takes like 36 hours or something to get to the end. I figured people have done before, so I should be fine. I mean, I will be in paradise for a few days. 

So, this week we headed out for our first training run as a team to the trails in Weir Canyon.

And Wow! We sure live in a beautiful place that continues to amaze me. Not knowing what to expect, I was thinking maybe I go a little longer when I heard it was only a 4 miler. But was I surprised to find that 4 miles was enough to get my heart racing and my blood pumping.

The trailhead started at the end of a road in the Hidden Canyon estates and all I could see was a hill in front of me. For the first half-mile we were moving upward on a dirt trail until when we finally get to the top. It was hard not to stop and take in the view. And we found ourselves doing this a few times on the run. The first few miles continued to climb upward and each time we rounded a corner, the view got even better. It went for miles and was absolutely stunning with rolling hills and large homes on the top looking over a lake. As we made our way around and moved downward, the switchbacks took us through a cooler route with trees along the side of the trail.

Whether you are a runner, hiker, horseback rider or mountain biker, these trails will give you whatever adventure you need. From steep climbs to fast drops, the trails have it all. You can traverse into many directions and go for miles, or simply take a loop and head back. For our team, the four-mile loop was just enough to get our first training run in for the upcoming Ragnar race. 

God has so much for us to explore and if you don't stop and pay attention to what is around you, you will miss it. Hawaii is going to be beautiful, but I can drive less than 30 minutes and enjoy a view that our creator has left for us. 

Psalm 19: 1-6
How clearly the sky reveals God's glory!
    How plainly it shows what he has done!
 Each day announces it to the following day;
    each night repeats it to the next.
 No speech or words are used,
    no sound is heard;
 yet their message goes out to all the world
    and is heard to the ends of the earth.
God made a home in the sky for the sun;

    it comes out in the morning like a happy bridegroom,
    like an athlete eager to run a race.
 It starts at one end of the sky

    and goes across to the other.

 Nothing can hide from its heat.

just Listen and Dream together

Sunday, we headed to the Hollywood hills. Not ever trekking to the infamous sign, we decided this was the day. Knowing it would be crowded, I tried to find an alternate route or trail or something difficult. Unfortunately, the trails were packed and there was no escaping the crowds on Mother's Day. But it was a great day, nonetheless and we never even got close to the sign after all. 

What's nice about this hike is, it's relatively close if you are near the LA area and easy to get to from a few directions. The trails are marked and signs are everywhere to get you to the sign and to Griffith Observatory. We took the Trail Canyon route where at the start you could check out the bat cave from the 1960's. We didn't, but plenty of walkers headed that way first. 

The sign is in the hills, so the hike is up hill...all the way. At times, pretty steep and pretty dirty and dusty. It wasn't a particularly hot day, so we made it easily through the winding uphill climb. 

As someone who works indoors all day, every day, getting out on the weekends is a must, but getting out with family can be challenging with schedules that consume us. Since it was Mother's Day, no complaints or excuses were made. We got up, ate breakfast, and headed out. What I love on our hikes together is not just breathing in the fresh air and appreciating all God has given us to enjoy, but the conversations and the challenges of the day. When you are out in the open and free, you share your dreams and your ideas, you sometimes have to struggle through the heat of the climb or the windy day and work together to get to the top. With an 18-year-old getting ready to graduate in a few weeks, I cherish each of these days. 

I listen to his dreams, his fears, and his triumphs. 
I hear him concerned about the future and what life will be like. And I want to tell him it is all going to work out but sometimes, he just needs me to listen and hear. 


Instead, I keep quiet or ask questions. 
I try not to advise, although sometimes it's difficult. 
I try not to judge and let him figure it out, but it is hard. 
I love him and tell him I am proud of who he has become. 
I tell him it will be different, but it is good. 

At the end of the day, we conquered the hill and we saw the the sign but most important, we lived and breathed and learned...together.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

-Proverbs 22:6