If you have ever loved an addict, you know the pain it causes every day. The saddest part is they have no idea that they pain they feel is only part of the pain that you feel when have to sit back helplessly watching them destroy relationships, jobs and themselves. Their. Entire. Life.
If you know me, you know I draw a hard line on alcohol, tobacco and most forms of drugs, including over the counter stuff. Some people have thought it was my faith in God and others may know a little of my story and make a connection, but the reality is, I believe some of us are prone to addiction.
Myself, included. And I fight it, but
I see it when I work until I can't stay up any longer;
I see it in when I run through an injury to prove myself;
I see it when our family schedule is so packed we are eating out every night;
I see it in almost anything I set out to do.
But I fight it.
I fight to keep balance.
So...I don't drink. I don't smoke. Because I am afraid. The reality is no one sets out to be an addict, but eventually, one thing leads to another and you find yourself depressed and lonely.
Addicts often don't realize they are addicts. But you recognize them when they are always late for the party. Or they call to cancel at the last minute because they don't feel well. They often leave early. They promise to bring something and simply forget. They say things, do things and believe things that are just plain wrong. They feel sorry for themselves. They cry, they laugh, they yell-all in the same hour.
And those who love an addict
cry for them,
yell at them,
say mean things back to them,
cry for them,
worry about them,
make excuses for them,
and feel helpless.
For years I was angry, but eventually came to realize that just like other relationships, when one person is fixated on a problem, the only one hurting is the affected. The addict doesn't care about me, any more than the friend that betrayed me. They are the same. They both move on, while I am left picking up the pieces of my own sadness and guilt. They call is a disease, but seriously, Cancer is a disease, Alzheimers is a disease, Parkinson's is a disease; alcoholism and drug abuse is a choice.
If you are someone who knows an addict, I encourage you to let go of your anger and your fear. The children, the wife or husband, the mother and father of an addict, have to create a boundary for their feelings and responses. Love them, forgive them, pray for them, and know you are not in control and ultimately, it is their choice to make a change.
Romans 12:20
I believe that your life must be blessed through forgiving others. Would you like to choose to forgive for the benefit of others? Maybe your decisions can bring an opportunity of redemption for others.
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