Geesh, God! What's Next?

Only after a few weeks of making a public claim that life could only get better this year, it took a big u-turn. I really did think I had experienced it all. I had been challenged enough in every one of my relationships and in every possible situation imaginable and unimaginable. But no, it wasn't over yet.

Of course, I tried to keep it to myself to not upset those around me but I cracked. I always crack. I couldn't help it. But in just a few minutes it was passed on and we moved on. It was a big event day.

It is always a big event day. Funny, how God seems to think the big event will distract me enough to get me through it all. Or maybe it is His way of putting things on pause so my mind doesn't spiral out of control. When something eats at your heart, it is hard to stay cool, but I did for the next few hours. No one knew. I smiled, I took pictures, I focused on what was in front of me.

Or at least I thought I did. I tried. I really did this time. I mean, sometimes, you have to trust the situation and move on.

But this time, my crazy mind replayed conversations, scenarios and unexplainable events over again in my head. And over and over again. And then one day, I woke up angry! I hadn't let it go and now I wanted answers. But then again, did I?

Sometimes in life things happen that truly are unexplainable, and in this situation I may or may not ever know the truth. I simply have to trust that what I know is what I need to know right now. We have to trust that God is in control and that as long as we are doing the right thing, in the end, He will come and peace will prevail. I know I need to settle with God during this time, but that doesn't mean it is easy. Small reminders rear their head of the pain I felt on that day and all the times before but I have to put my faith in the One greater than me if I am ever going to move on.

“The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him.” Nahum 1:7